Attachment and Therapy
Your individual "attachment" style will likely inform much of the work we do together. Attachment-focused psychotherapy looks at how we bond and connect with others, and how we choose significant life partners. As children, we inherit from our parents and caregivers a template for attachment. We use our template as a reference point for creating adult relationships. It also plays a crucial role in determining how we relate to our children.
Our attachment system is physiologically-based and rooted in the neurobiology of brain and nervous system functioning. We are hard-wired through evolution to bond for reasons of survival. When our primary relationships are threatened, we respond in predictable ways, usually either preoccupied-anxious or avoidant. This information is extremely important for anyone who has experienced abandonment, neglect, or betrayal.
Insecure attachment means we'll probably respond with either preoccupied-anxious neediness or fearful-dismissive avoidance. It's a kind of push-pull, distancer-pursuer form of relating. It's distressing. It undermines trust. Attachment-Focused Therapy, especially in combination with EMDR, is especially helpful to those who chase emotionally unavailable people and repeatedly sell themselves short when it comes to love.